Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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