Are we in a gay sports bar?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
