He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
