Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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