if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
