i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
