dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think I died a long time ago.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
