I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
