Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I want to fling myself into the sun
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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