what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
