I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
