Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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