I'm so fucking centered right now
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
