then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
