found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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