you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
