dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
