I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
