Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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