Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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