I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think i have two assholes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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