A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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