my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
