All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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