everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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