The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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