At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
