Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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