their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Randomize
