I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
