I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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