thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
