so that wasnt chicken after all
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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