He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Houston, we have a blender
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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