you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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