So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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