Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
