brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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