I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize