Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
