This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
