Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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