yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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