Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
