I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
