I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
