I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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