if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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