toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize