Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
