I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
