I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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