I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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