She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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