Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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