look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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