If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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