I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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