i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
