69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
