The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
