when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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