I love watching others lives come down to our level.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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