She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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